I’m different.
I’m distant.
I’m not like the others
That will profess their love at the drop of a hat.
I don’t love you.
I don’t believe in love at first sight.
I might grow to love you,
Or I might not.
I cannot see the future.
I cannot read your mind.
I cannot know what you wish for if you won’t tell me.
The only thing I can say for certain
Is that I want you.
Does that surprise you?
It shouldn’t,
Or perhaps it should.
Sometimes I think I’m being obvious when I’m really not.
Sometimes I forget how hard it is to open up.
Maybe you’re still oblivious.
Somehow I doubt it.
I think you know that I yearn for time with you,
But I would never ask for it.
I think you know that I miss you when you’re gone,
But I would never admit it to your face.
I think you know that I look at you
In a way I haven’t looked at anyone for a long time,
But only when I’m sure your attention is elsewhere.
It’s not that I’m shy,
Although I am.
I’m also not foolish enough to believe
That someone who could have anyone
Would want someone like me.
Especially not when you already have someone else.
You’re good at hiding,
But I’m better at seeing what’s hidden.
I’m different.
I’m distant.
I’m broken and I’m flawed.
I’m not the type who gets chosen first.
But I could be good for you.
I could be good to you.
I could be the one who comes to love you.
We’ll never know now.
My heart understands that it will never be given the chance.