Sorrow

I have come to the conclusion that the fault was mine,
And mine alone.
I cannot bring myself to blame you.
You cannot bring yourself to feel something that just isn’t there.
You cannot force yourself to want.
The fault was mine for keeping the hope alive,
When I should have seen that it was long dead and long gone.
Perhaps there was something else I could have done…
Someone else I could have been…
Maybe.
Perhaps it was an exercise in futility,
Doomed from the start.
I should have known.
No one thing should be able to make you feel so good,
Yet cut so deeply at the same time.
So I presume that it is time for us to part ways…
In a way.
I will not leave your side.
I always honor my promises,
But…
I suppose that it is time for me to be the person you thought I was,
And not the one you just couldn’t see.
So I will no longer embarrass you with my declarations…
The ones that remained unrequited.
I will no longer say the things you never wanted to hear,
Knowing that they could never be returned.
I guess words can hurt when you have no desire to know them.
I will no longer steal furtive glances,
Knowing that you know what I’m doing
But both of us pretending not to.
I will no longer seek an innocent touch,
As though it was a consolation for the one I couldn’t have.
I am tired of wondering why I wasn’t good enough.
I am tired of falling so hard and so fast…
I can barely survive each crash
And one day my luck will surely run out.