Physical

You think this is purely physical,
Don’t you?
You think that I want you
Only for what you could do to me,
And what you could let me do to you,
Don’t you?
You think that my need to touch you
Is deeply sexual,
Carnal,
Animalistic even,
Don’t you?
If only it were so.
Have I undressed you with my eyes?
Yes.
So many times that I have already
Mapped every contour of your body.
Have my thoughts of you drifted past the boundaries of innocence?
Yes.
So many times that I have already
Conjured entire scenes and scenarios.
I have said yes to you again and again in my mind,
And yet feel the pull to request
That the dream be made into the reality.
That it would be good
Is a certainty…
Simply because I would bleed to make it so.
I could not deny you
Should your desires lead you in my direction,
Even if that is all you require.
But to me it is so much more than that.
I want to touch you…
I need to touch you,
Because that touch gives me life.
Because that touch makes me feel powerful,
Because I know that I give you what no one else can…
That you feel safe with my arms around you…
That you feel protected.
I never thought the day would come
When I would want that more than anything…
More than the chance to learn what you sound like
At the height of desire.
Sometimes I wish that it were merely sexual…
That the thirst could be slaked with a few frenzied nights.
But I fear that my need for you
Cannot be satisfied quite so easily.
I fear that my need for you has become physical,
Has become ingrained deep within my body.
I crave a lifetime of nights spent holding you.
I crave a lifetime of nights spent watching you as you sleep.
I crave a lifetime of nights spent waking up next to you,
And wondering what I ever did to be so lucky.
You think this is purely physical,
Don’t you?
You couldn’t be more wrong.