You know, when I first made the decision to accept being gay, I read everything I could find on the subject...which really wasn't much. Yes, I said that I accepted being gay. While I don't believe that you can choose to be gay, I believe that it is under your control whether you accept it or not...but I'm straying. Forgive me. I do have a tendency to do that.
My point is that I read so many comments by people who insisted on defying definition that I came to believe that stereotypes within the gay community were a myth. They were mere fabrication made up in order to lump us all together as outcasts. I had never seen a very effeminate male or a 'manly' woman. No. Instead, I had read about people who refused to conform...who said that such stereotypes were derogatory...and who firmly refused to be labeled as anything other than just another human being.
Those of you who have read A Perfect World will know that one of my female characters is portrayed as being very masculine, in everything from appearance to personality traits. I did it because I wanted to include a range of individuals. I took a bit of flak for this too, from people who were convinced that there would be a great flood of backlash from lesbians that I had offended with my stereotyping. So sure of this were they that they had me convinced as well and I was on the verge of making drastic changes (something I will never again do because of others' opinions) when something happened.
Imagine my surprise when I joined a chat roomI came across women who embraced the very stereotypes that so many others were trying to reject. My first time there, I felt as though an entirely new world had been opened up to me. There were 'femmes' and 'butches' and 'bois' and 'dykes' and every other name that's every been used to describe a gay woman. I didn't come up with these terms...that's what they called themselves. There were women who had crew cuts and smoked cigars. There were women with a penchant for frills and lace. And they were proud. They were proud that they fit into the stereotypes which society had set for them. They wouldn't have it any other way.
That got me thinking. Why is it that some so vigorously rebel against conformity and some accept it even in rebelling? Could it be that we all ultimately want to belong somewhere? Is it better to belong to a sub group of a fringe group rather than to not belong at all? Or is it just that some people fit into a particular stereotype and some don't simply because that is their nature?