On Being Gay

 
I know what you're thinking. Don't worry...this isn't going to be a religious diatribe. I've had too many of those in my life and I'm well aware that you can't win against someone who firmly believes in their own sainthood.  I believe that God put me here to be happy and to make others happy...and until He tells me otherwise, that's what I will continue to believe. Hmmm...there I go being defensive again. Force of habit I guess. It gets really tiring having to justify yourself all the time.

I guess by now most people have heard the genes vs. choice argument. For those of you who haven't, here's the gist of it. One school of thought says that being gay is a genetic trait...something that you're born with...like blue eyes or that funny little crook in your pinky finger. The other claims that it is nothing more than a choice...a fashion statement...keeping up with the times. It seems like a big sacrifice to make to be in with the out crowd.
 
I don't think a lot of people know the reality of being gay. It's not glamorous. It's not our attempt to idolize the Melissa Etheridge's of the world or to emulate our favorite character on The L-Word. It is who we are. And our greatest fear is the same as millions of others in the world, whether they are gay or straight, black or white. One simple word. One simple, seemingly harmless word. Rejection.
 
For us, rejection doesn't just mean a simple no. It's losing people who you thought you meant something to. It's losing a job where you thought all those promotions meant you were doing well. It's facing inhuman violence from small-minded humans because of what you do behind closed doors. We are not perfect. There are deviants amongst us, just as there are in the straight community...yet all of us pay the price.

That's the reality. It's a reality that frustrates and saddens. It's a reality that's there every second of every day. We can't change that. I can't change that...no more than I can change the fact that I was born with black hair or that I can roll my tongue. I am gay. Tell me something. Look deep within yourself and answer me honestly. If anyone could, how many people do you think would choose to live a life facing prejudice and uncertainty? How many people would choose to live a life of rejection? Do you still think it's a matter of choice?
 

The End.

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