When I look back at my life now, it’s easy to
recognize the people who have influenced me the most. Chief amongst is my
aunt, who sadly passed away ten years ago, and whose picture I still keep in
my wallet. She was my father’s cousin, but she lived with us all my life and
I grew up right alongside her. She was just seventeen when I was born and
always liked to say that she never liked any babies except me. We’re very
similar in that respect, because I don’t like children except my best
friend’s baby.
She left to find a better life in the United States
when I was ten, and I think that she always felt guilty for abandoning me,
even though I never felt that way. I missed her, but I understood. Besides,
I had someone to stay by if I ever went on a trip. I remember the first
vacation that I took to New York. I was fifteen at the time, and already
unlike many of the others out there of my age. Perhaps that’s why I was
never close to most of my own cousins. I couldn’t care less about shopping,
or seeing the regular sights of the Big Apple. I wanted to visit the Museum
of Natural History and a bookshop that specialized in various types of
Mythology. My aunt was thrilled, as these were the kinds of things that
interested her as well, and we had a lot of enjoyable moments bonding.
It was refreshing because most people just weren’t
like me, and it was amazing how well we got along. She would always be the
first person who called for my birthday, and the one person I felt that I
could talk to about anything. Most of all, she was the person who always
encouraged me to be who I wanted to be and to do what I wanted to do,
regardless of what anyone else would think. She always said that it took all
sorts of people to make the world work, from doctors to garbage collectors,
and there was no shame in whatever you did…as long as you did your best. She
is the one person that I wish the baby could have known. I will do my best
to be for her what my aunt was for me. The world is changing every day, and
sometimes I think that it’s not for the better. I don’t know how much I can
teach her, but I hope she learns these things from me.
Don’t be afraid to love:
Love has been described as many things, from a
fickle mistress to a cold hearted bitch. It’s so easy to close your heart to
it, once it’s been broken a few times…and it will be. But love can be a
beautiful thing as well, and to never feel it is a tragedy. As much as I
have been hurt over the years, I would never trade in the opportunity to
have felt the things I have been blessed to feel.
Learn to laugh at yourself:
You’re not perfect, and there will be instances when
you fall flat on your face (literally on occasion). There are times to be
serious, but don’t let that become your life. Find the joy, even if it comes
from laughing at the things you’ve gotten yourself into. It’ll make the
sting of people laughing at you so much less, not to mention piss them off
that they’re not getting to you.
Don’t shut out the people who love you:
We all make mistakes. We all get confused. You will
too, but never believe that you are alone or that you have no choice but to
handle a situation on your own. Never believe that there isn’t someone you
can come to who will love you no matter what and who will try their best to
understand. Who knows? We might have even been through it ourselves.
Be careful who you trust:
Not everyone is as they seem. There are those who
will cozy up to you, all the while thinking about how they can bring you
down. There are those who have your best interests genuinely at heart. It
takes time and practice to differentiate between the two, but never forego
the latter in favor of the former. As they say, all that glitters is not
gold.
Learn to like yourself:
Every person on the face of the planet can find one
thing that they don’t like about themselves, whether it’s a perceived
physical imperfection or a character flaw. There’s always something, but
that doesn’t mean that you’re not beautiful just as you are, or a good
person just because you have a bit of wild streak. Not everyone will like
you. They may even say mean things about you. Who cares? As long as you like
yourself, the people that matter will like you as well.
Don’t give up on your dreams for anyone:
You will learn that everyone has an opinion about
what you should and should not do with your life. Many times it’s an attempt
to live vicariously through you. Sometimes people truly believe that it’s
what best for you, and sometimes they’re right. But you’re the only one who
can make the final decision. You’re the only one who can ultimately decide
what makes you truly happy. And once you’ve found that, don’t give up on it,
not for anyone. How will you know if you can make your dream into a reality
if you never try?
Am I good enough to impart these lessons? I don’t
know. I’ve never had to before. But I have to at least make the attempt and,
if I’m even partially successful, I would have done all I can to keep my
aunt’s memory alive.