I’ve made a mistake.
It’s not the first time but,
If my willpower doesn’t fail me again,
I swear it will be the last.
I’m tired of doing the same thing over and over,
Expecting a different result.
They say that’s the first sign of madness.
I must have lost my sanity a long time ago.
I think that I have finally reached my limit.
I think that I have finally reached the point of not caring.
It’s caring too much that has taken this toll on me.
It’s caring too much that keeps leading me down a dead end road.
I placed you on a pedestal,
As it is my habit to do.
I made you into someone you are not,
Someone that I wanted you to be.
I tried my hardest to shape your image
Because I desperately wanted to believe that there’s hope.
That somewhere out there
The good girls don’t actually finish last.
But that’s a fallacy…
A fantasy…
Nothing more than the sliver of a myth.
So often we’re not even allowed in the race.
So many say they long for this elusive creature,
This mysterious being who would lay down their life at your feet,
And yet such a precious gift is left scuffed and trampled.
I thought you were different,
But what I saw in you was just a projection of my own desires.
You are no different from the rest,
And I have nothing more to give.
I will walk alone from now on.
I have let myself down more than once,
But at least I should be the one person I can trust.
I’ve made a mistake,
And I’ve made it again and again,
But love has had its final chance at making me a fool.
Never again shall I fall for its lies and its coy seduction.
I shall bury the past,
And sprinkle it with the ashes of my heart.