Boomerang

They say that if you love something
You must let it go.
If it is meant to be then it will come back to you.
But what happens when it returns only to rest for a moment
And then flies off once more,
Repeating the cycle time and time again?
I have allowed it to be so.
I have allowed you to believe
In actions without consequences
Because of my own determination
To not be like the person I respect least in this world…
To always be there.
I have allowed myself to become a safety net…
An oasis…
There to satisfy your need for me,
Only to be relegated to the background
Until you once again thirst for something no one else can give.
I have allowed you to put others before me,
Because they make demands and I do not.
Perhaps I cared more about your welfare,
Than my own desire for your company.
Perhaps I should have been more selfish.
I have allowed myself to lose my sense of being…
To constantly struggle to be the person you want me to be,
Instead of taking the chance that you would not appreciate the person I am.
I suspect that it was a wasted effort.
Neither could truly hold your attention.
So here I am, letting you go yet again…
Only this time I’m not wondering if you’ll come back…
I’m not trying to convince you that I’ll be here if you return.
I don’t have the strength to do that any more.
I pray that you are willing to make the effort
To keep me grounded or set me free,
And wonder whether I will come back to you.